Greetings….its been a minute.🥹
Life became too noisy and I didn’t want to add to the constant cacophony of madness, crazy news and the losses that the last couple years brought.
I have decided to share my Journey that started this year.
“When Teachers get old, they throw you away, Ma’m”
This is what I was told by a sobbing, little Grade 1, after I told the class that I would be leaving at the end of the year. The year was 1925 and here we are in 1926.
Yes, it happened, suddenly I was 65, and before I realised it, I had the letter in my hand. I might add that the Birthday didn’t even happen yet. I requested an extension, and all indications were there that this would be successful, but alas, another letter….”Enjoy your retirement”
Did I take this personally, feeling rejected and scared….YES
Horrible images of an impoverished old woman living out of her car, my brain telling me that I was simply not good enough, that 37 years of teaching meant nothing, The paycheck that will never come again, my sense of security gone.
Did I sat and cry like a baby under a tree? Ooo yes…
The last Term was the worst I’ve ever experienced, getting up, showing up, enjoying my children in the class but having to maintain some dignity. I confess that I almost asked my Doctor to book me off for the rest of the term. I mean, I was under huge mental strain, but my sister encouraged me to walk the road until the end. With the strength I had left, I stayed, drew the line and left. (Should have won an Oscar)
Then… the monks starting walking and I walked with them on Social Media every day, learning and being inspired.
I learnt that my mind was my biggest enemy, that anxiety is being scared of things that haven’t happened yet, and I decided to really start living in Faith
I placed my hope in another school, I was led to believe that the job was mine and at the last minute (after waiting for three months) it tuned out differently.
BUT i believed that the Universe has a plan for all of us, and that God would show me the way and place me where I was needed, not merely tolerated.
I started to understand that perceived rejection was in reality Devine Direction.
That every ‘NO’ was steering me into the path that I should follow.
I am slowly coming out of my survival mode, I’m slowly unfreezing and conquering the fear, and I’m writing again.
I am enjoying quiet mornings, I miss friends and my children at school, but NO MORE MEETINGS!!
This is the beginning of a New Phase in my life. Things are slowly falling into place and I accept with gratitude.
WATCH THIS SPACE!!!! It HAS JUST STARTED💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
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