A stoep- a porch-a verandah-a stoop- whatever you want to call it, it is a safe place to contemplate and ponder this soapie called Life. A good stoep becomes like an old familiar friend- it has some herbs growing somewhere and beautiful and sentimental things that you want to see every day. You will make it comfortable for yourself as this is the one little corner on this mad planet that you can use as a soundboard-a haven if you will- the one place where the chair is to your specifications and where you can see people before they see you. Yes, I don't allow just anyone on my stoep no, as in this space I need peace and flow- you mess with it and you're gone! (We do know that some people just don't hear the black notes on the piano)I feel these emotional mutants must join a support group somewhere-just not on my stoep.
My stoep has heard many sobs from distraught teenagers and many stories of woe and we try and sort it out- and praise God, sometimes we succeed. I love it !! And sometimes the stoep is just quiet so that I can listen. In Africa we say that it takes a village to raise a child and this is indeed so, I came to the realisation a couple of months ago, that the village has never left me and that they were all talking at the same time in my addled head. The noise was deafening and I could hardly function properly. In Afrikaans we say;"My kop raas"' Your head is making a noise literally. I also realised that somewhere in this mad scramble to survive and be super mom and super teacher and washing and school and angst and menopause and getting older and and and...... TOOOOOO MUCH!!! So I followed in the beautiful Angela Basset's example. She went to Jamaica and I went to Ghana. Did I find my Tye Tieggs.............??
All I am prepared to say is that I got my groove back oh yes....( Please read 'The Music Lesson' by Victor Wootten) Suffice to say that I will not lose the groove to catch a note.
I stayed at 'Kokrobite Beach' at 'BigMillys backyard' and it was the best present I've ever given myself. I will post some pics soon but I seem to have misplaced a vital cd and and....... Yes I am not very good at computers at all but this situation is being remedied. Pics will be posted- thank the Lord for friends that love you because you're so dof sometimes!
This is of course also the time of year that we all want to sink into a bit of gloom as we contemplate the year behind us and shall we do the New Year's resolution thing again?? I decided that Im doing it differently this year. The truly astonishing aspect of this year is that I actually survived it at all and that Im still reasonably sane ( at least to people that don't know me)
I am counting all the blessings and I REFUSE TO BE SUCKED INTO THE QUICKSAND OF ANY INSULT- Maya Angelou says;'I may be changed by things that happen to me but I refuse to be reduced by it'. So I suffered some mental anguish and all sorts of neuroses (like the best of us) but here I am- groove intact and on my best Godess behaviour. Yes Maya-'Still I rise'
I am thankful that the menopause in all its horror has been and gone- Lets just be clear, menopause is weird ok? And there is no such thing as a 'hot flush' no, its just 'put your head in the oven till you're so hot that you want to rip off your skin' (I tried to do just that in a supermarket in the middle of our desert-freezing winter ugh)
The menopause left me a stunning present though, for the first time in my life I actually have a cleavage uhu! went up from a 34B to a healthy 36D- quite amazing and a blessing!
I am going to keep on counting the blessings and spreading the love as that is all that makes sense to me- It's as easy and difficult as that.
Could we possibly just try and spread some love? And I don't mean the random, emotionally detached sex that passes as love but the real thing-the I love you for what and who you are and I forgive and release the albatross around my neck yes?
Spread the love and love your physical stoep as we have to move onto the mental side of stoep sitting......
And here I am; starting a brand new life at the tender age of 49 (yeah, the time of your life which is dominated by hair colour and hormones) and I finally have a stoep of my own! It looks out on to a pretty garden beyond which are forest-clad hills and I awake to the wild screeching of birds and monkeys every morning.
ReplyDeleteI don't have a chair as yet so I sit there on the slate-tiles, sip coffee, smoke a cigarette and contemplate life, love and everything else; do my positive affirmations and be happy to be alive and oh,so excited about the future!
We all need a 'stoep'. A place just to be: where we can gather our thoughts away from the maddening crowd.
How about an Association of Stoep Sitters....we'll call it ASS!
With love from my stoep which is currently enveloped in mist.
A new year with all sorts of new possibilities and new choices are upon us and I sit on my stoep and reflect upon this, having already made my new year's resolutions a while back i.e to do things RIGHT this time around this last lap of my life. That is, after all, what life is all about: choices.
ReplyDeleteAm I going to be happy or depressed when I get up this morning? Positive or negative? Am I going to sweat the small stuff and allow others' negativity to affect me? Am I going to trust my gut feelings and a Higher Power or am I going to allow my fellow-man's opinions and fears detract me from my path?
How many times have people shelved their dreams because so-called 'good friends' have shot it down just to discover that someone else has made a roaring success pursuing the exact same dream/idea?
So make it your new year's resolution to not allow anyone to trample on your dreams. Do not put yourself in a position 5 years from now where you look back and think: I should have done that. Do not create a life of regrets.
With love from my stoep.
PS: a bird attacked my cat this morning - if that's not karma, I don't know!