You don't have what it takes

Are we looking for love in all the wrong places?

Ive had some really incredible experiences lately! I've learnt so much about the way of the world and myself that I feel rather overwhelmed by it all.
A chance encounter with a sexy stranger is all it took to shake me out of my comfort zone and I entered a world unbeknown to me up till now. One would think that a woman my age would be more experienced in the way of 'love' (or what passes for love nowadays....) Oh I fell hard so hard!
I have to admit that for a while there I bacame rather obsessed and I experienced a range of emotions that were alien to me. I operated on trust and my faith in human nature and I came out relatively unscathed. Yes, I had a great moment and I will never forget it,but I had to learn that people love on different levels, and to assume that others feel the same way is just, well stupid? Love makes fools of all of us indeed, and as my mother is so fond of saying:'There's no fool like an old fool' (Not what I want to hear!!!)

I also realised that I don't have what it takes to play this game and I am so relieved!! It took me a while to click that I am way out of my depth, and then I realised that this depth is not something I need or want to experience at all. (No matter how sexy the person) Ultimately we need to be true to ourselves surely? How else can you be true to anybody? Is the whole world out to get instant gratification? Is everybody lying to get as much as they can? 'out for the gets?'

aah!! so I bravely went on to a dating site, and I have been utterly amazed at the reaction. I'm by no means a young babe and yet in the space of 2 days I received 200 messages ranging from lewd suggestions about my sizeable bust and butt to desperate pleadings for company, someone to talk to, someone to marry (?) or someone to have  live sex with as opposed to webcam fumbling. (I've never skyped, but have received invitations to skype away with strangers.) Interesting........

What I found particularly intriguing is that more than half the request were from people under 30! Why? Do all these men have an older woman fixation or are there ulterior motives? I find it amusing that they feel the need to tell me that age is but a number hmmmmm indeed honey!! And that 'they don't mind that I'm older'- (way older in fact!)  Observe the arrogance in this statement!! Am I honestly dependant on your approval of my age? Did I approach you? Oh there is a huge mental difference here!
Are they all under the illusion that older women are desperate and needy? And what, pray tell, is in it for us, as the 'elder?' Do we need to be validated by your fickle approval??.


 I can't help but notice the poses in the pics- pensively staring into the distance or showing off muscles- or even one Luthario in his bath! Straddling the bike is a favourite, yet one can't help feeling anxious about the helmet covering the face hmmmm Am I becoming voyouristic? So I've had heaps of attention from all sorts of people, and some quite hot, I might add, soo..... whats the catch? The catch is to know who is genuine and who isn't - but how????

I've subsequently learnt that the hot ones more than likely don't use their own pictures! Did everyone know this except me? Yes, I am much to trusting and not at all knowledgeable in the the ways of the cyber world. I am after all from an era where a person's word was enough. Not any more it seems, words are cheap and people are expendable.
After a rather shocking expose on a investigative programme on TV, where women were being scammed out of money and self-respect, my sista and I were rather spooked by it all. She just had a similar experience with a person who clearly sent a ramdom pic to a dating site complete with his fake alias. She was on to him very quickly, clearly she is more astute than I am, and she called his bluff eventually, when the inevitable requests for money started pouring in. After all, he did declare his undying love for her, which of course should prompt her to start rewarding him with money, as she is so grateful for his attention, NOT!!
Interesting how abusive the honey-tongued stranger became when his requests were denied..

I was told by one guy that my eyes were driving him insane (nice one!!) As I related this to friend, she immediately reacted in fear and horror, and muttered about serial killers and predators collecting the eyes of unsespecting love-lorn women. We did after all, follow the trial of the couple that boiled the head of a trusting stranger. The poor man fell in love with his chat buddy on a social network site and went to meet her for a date....... He didn't know that the couple from hell were waiting for him......

I have now received 300 requests from all sorts of men and a couple of women, I have been winked at, I've had various cyber gifts sent to me ,Ive been begged to skype with people, but my resolve is firm and I am honing my bullshit detectors daily....

I will now delete my profile on this dating site, and I think I've made one potentially good friend.

No, I don't have what it takes to play this game, as I don't ever want to think of relationships as a game to be played for whatever payback you expect.

'Oh the games people play now, every night and every day now, never meaning what they say now, never saying what they mean.... '( Remember this old song?)