Yes, its been a while!! Holiday is over and work started, hitting the ground running as my friend says. And with that comes the reality of the daily grind we are all subjected to, that is, if you are lucky enough to have a job. I am doubly blessed, as I actually enjoy what I'm doing. No, I don't always enjoy the people I do it with, but I'm sure I'm possibly a major irritant in another person's life at work to- deal!!
This is the year I will drag myself into this century and overcome my irrational, digital angst. I am proud of this achivement and feel there should be at least a moment of silence, as I am, as we say, really dof when it comes to said digital world.
Suffice to say, I am trying.....
So, I might not be clued up with modern technology, but it doesn't take much savvy to operate face book and whatever social network presents itself. What I do find challenging about facebook, for example, is the subject matter, especially with quite young people, that they discuss and put out there.
I was absolutely horrified to read a status of a young man that I know. This guy spent years in a very expensive, religious private school. He is extremely good-looking, good athlete, and hot yes, BUT dear heaven!! I reacted to the post by lashing out at him and telling him to go drag his knuckles in a cave somewhere. Might I add that even his peers were shocked and disgusted. So, it wasn't just age pulling rank from my side!
When reading other posts from even younger people, I was vindicated by the anger from girls towards guys that think that their crude sexual jokes and statements are in any way attractive or amusing. They feel humiliated and disgusted.
And yes, I know that some girls do it as well. And its just not cool at all. It preturbes me greatly that in an age that is supposed to be so sophisticated and technologically advanced, with information freely available on any subject under the sun, we somehow can't manage the basic principles of respect toward each other. It seem that the war of the sexes are raging more intensely than ever. South Africa has horrific rape statistics, and so many people have been victims of horrendous crimes, yet we still fuel the fires of hate and assumptions, and it more than often manifests itself in depraved sexual behaviour and immense cruelty.
On the other hand, its fascinating to read all the religious and spiritual posts that are written, also by young people. It seems that there is a war raging, with definite sides becoming quite extreme and dedicated to their beliefs or disbeliefs, as the case might be. Many older people share information on issues and lively debates ensue, sans the inevitable american slang that gets mangled into diatribes that must make Martin Luther King spin in his grave.
Im not suggesting that we all take up permanent residence in a Bless Me Club, but a sense of time and place and some old-fashioned respect and manners go a looooong way!!! (Whether you are religious or not.)
One might even say that it is the ultimate fore-play. Do you honestly expect to have a loving and sizzling relationship with someone if you are spewing forth filth all day long to your partner and whoever you feel like insulting, just because you can? Its only a matter of time before you start projecting all this vitriol onto the people closest to you.
RESPECT!!!!
Spread the love***
Saturday, 21 January 2012
Thursday, 12 January 2012
Crack it wide open- Victor Wooten
Every time I drive around or walk anywhere, I am conscious of the headlines around me and more often than not, its absolute visual pollution. Art reflects life? Yes, so do most of the headlines of newspapers indeed.
Some gruesome examples: "Girl (5) raped"
"5 die as truck crashes into taxi"
"Grandmother raped at graveyard"
"Mother loses kids and husband in horror crash"
and so on and so on.....
Whenever I see this, it affects me deeply and I can't help but ponder on the trauma and the effect these events have on the people involved. Its like reading script directions in a play- "character flies onto stage and lands stage right"( That involves hours of work, designing and making and rehearsing, in one sentence a whole world and people are represented.)
How much pain and trauma for a child that was raped or mutilated or kidnapped or tortured. What about the parents and families? Nothing happens in isolation, someone suffers, has therapy, lands up in hospital, maybe estranged from loved ones, maybe isolated at school by children that are harsh in their judgement and influenced by the assumptions and prejudices of parents or emotionally stunted adults who rashly spew out their vitriol against the world and anyone who is dares to be different or had the misfortune of having something really horrible happen to them. "Surely something you said or done caused this?" (Some people still view a raped woman as someone "who asked for it")
A grandmother that visited her late husband's grave is deemed "irresponsible" for going to a graveyard. How do her children feel? How does she process it? How is this her fault? And why do we reach these conclusions? Was the driver of the taxi irresponsible? Imagine being in his shoes, having to explain this event to the families involved.
My thoughts to-day centred around the horror crash that killed a mother's children and husband.
I can't begin to imagine what this lady must go through. One sentence and a life is in shreds, having to make arrangements, walking back into an empty house, lying alone in a big bed, having to face the rooms and closets of her loved ones, having to pack it up and move on. How?
Do you move away from everything to start afresh, or do you stay paralysed with grief in a house full of ghosts and memories?. Do you feel guilty about your children? Do you blame God? Do you blame your husband? Yourself?
Do you have to explain this every time you meet people and they ask you about your life?
Do you take sleeping pills and anti-depressants? Will you ever trust enough to love someone again?What about birthdays?
Its heavy, I know, but in a world where we are part of so many statistics, I believe its vital that we remember the people around events. (The police that must handle all of this, the ambulance operators that will be on the scene,....) It takes a village to raise not only the child, but to support and love the ones left behind, broken and traumatised.
In the spirit of Ubuntu: "We are who we are because of other people"
Spread the love****
Some gruesome examples: "Girl (5) raped"
"5 die as truck crashes into taxi"
"Grandmother raped at graveyard"
"Mother loses kids and husband in horror crash"
and so on and so on.....
Whenever I see this, it affects me deeply and I can't help but ponder on the trauma and the effect these events have on the people involved. Its like reading script directions in a play- "character flies onto stage and lands stage right"( That involves hours of work, designing and making and rehearsing, in one sentence a whole world and people are represented.)
How much pain and trauma for a child that was raped or mutilated or kidnapped or tortured. What about the parents and families? Nothing happens in isolation, someone suffers, has therapy, lands up in hospital, maybe estranged from loved ones, maybe isolated at school by children that are harsh in their judgement and influenced by the assumptions and prejudices of parents or emotionally stunted adults who rashly spew out their vitriol against the world and anyone who is dares to be different or had the misfortune of having something really horrible happen to them. "Surely something you said or done caused this?" (Some people still view a raped woman as someone "who asked for it")
A grandmother that visited her late husband's grave is deemed "irresponsible" for going to a graveyard. How do her children feel? How does she process it? How is this her fault? And why do we reach these conclusions? Was the driver of the taxi irresponsible? Imagine being in his shoes, having to explain this event to the families involved.
My thoughts to-day centred around the horror crash that killed a mother's children and husband.
I can't begin to imagine what this lady must go through. One sentence and a life is in shreds, having to make arrangements, walking back into an empty house, lying alone in a big bed, having to face the rooms and closets of her loved ones, having to pack it up and move on. How?
Do you move away from everything to start afresh, or do you stay paralysed with grief in a house full of ghosts and memories?. Do you feel guilty about your children? Do you blame God? Do you blame your husband? Yourself?
Do you have to explain this every time you meet people and they ask you about your life?
Do you take sleeping pills and anti-depressants? Will you ever trust enough to love someone again?What about birthdays?
Its heavy, I know, but in a world where we are part of so many statistics, I believe its vital that we remember the people around events. (The police that must handle all of this, the ambulance operators that will be on the scene,....) It takes a village to raise not only the child, but to support and love the ones left behind, broken and traumatised.
In the spirit of Ubuntu: "We are who we are because of other people"
Spread the love****
Thursday, 5 January 2012
One heart One love (Bob Marley foreva!!)
4 October 2011 TUESDAY - KOKROBITE ON MY SPOT
I am sitting with my back against the wall- in front of me is the ever Atlantic, boats, rastas, sellers,coconut trees, soft breeze, the big ease....
Splashes of colour and lilting voices- timeless, wondrous, ancient, a deep steady rythm-it slowly churns up memories deeply buried- it shapes it into soft, uncompromising focus-
Gently confronting and slowly circling - it demands to be remembered and celebrated, deeply grieved-ever living-never dead.
The spirits of those before live in the eyes of the man selling cloth and beads
Rythms in the night rising to a drawn out wail that wraps itself around the heart and gently squeezes and slows down the breathing until it becomes one with all- salt burning away old hurt and mad time.
A moment in time is what you get- will it sustain? Will it give rest and contentment ever?
My soul is aching and strains- it wants to soar without pain.
The throbbing of the heart becomes one and steers in a painful truth-
This is the moment- the only moment
A moment of orange and blue
a moment of burnt, brown sugar
and you
Spread the love-work the moment*****
I am sitting with my back against the wall- in front of me is the ever Atlantic, boats, rastas, sellers,coconut trees, soft breeze, the big ease....
Splashes of colour and lilting voices- timeless, wondrous, ancient, a deep steady rythm-it slowly churns up memories deeply buried- it shapes it into soft, uncompromising focus-
Gently confronting and slowly circling - it demands to be remembered and celebrated, deeply grieved-ever living-never dead.
The spirits of those before live in the eyes of the man selling cloth and beads
Rythms in the night rising to a drawn out wail that wraps itself around the heart and gently squeezes and slows down the breathing until it becomes one with all- salt burning away old hurt and mad time.
A moment in time is what you get- will it sustain? Will it give rest and contentment ever?
My soul is aching and strains- it wants to soar without pain.
The throbbing of the heart becomes one and steers in a painful truth-
This is the moment- the only moment
A moment of orange and blue
a moment of burnt, brown sugar
and you
Spread the love-work the moment*****
Tuesday, 3 January 2012
One day I'll fly away- Randy Crawford***
The First and great Commandment is: DONT LET THEM SCARE YOU!!!
My sista Puleng (also a godess,of course) gave me an article to read:
IF YOU'RE OVER FIFTY ,LOTS OF SEX WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY
It had a stunning picture of Jane Fonda (uber godess) and it waxed lyrical about the benefits of said lots of sex to guarentee our overfities' happiness.
It took me a while to get my head aroud the concept of being in this age bracket and then I felt a slow dread creep up from my feet. OK, so what do you do if you're not Jane Fonda? And what exactly are our options here? And why is there no mention of romance in this scenario?
If sex could be like having a workout in the gym and you can shower and walk on <it would all be fine of course, but are women actually capable of having this emotionally detached coupling with someone and just go to the next? And how much emotional interest must be paid on all these liasons? What if you fall in love with this person?
And where will you find these willing partners? Who, at this age and older is not schlepping baggage around? Could one actually accomodate more people? Horrible teenagers? Furious and bitter X-wives ugh .... Trawling dating sites is not my style and the idea of hunting for partners is just absurd,sorry.
I am the eternal romantic -I truly believe that some people really go off into the sunset together after having found each other through a series of seemingly coincidental events.
There seems to be a notion out there that if a book or a movie ends with a happy ending that its not realistic' It makes me so sad to think that "reality" is seen as people sitting on their own, crying and obsessing about what went wrong and having to join some support group to help them cope with their loss and complexes. (I have nothing against support groups,mind) Im sure it could become quite the social event of the week!
I find myself at a vulnerable age and it becomes rather confusing as so many different factors come into play and of course you have the added pressure of being older and thus hopefully wiser-(NOT)
Your neurotic behaviour plays havoc with your looks and that I can not afford- at this age you don't pull 'haggard'off any more- just hag!!
I watched Celine Dion in concert in Vegas and it was stunning- What I loved most of all was the look of absolute adoration and love that her husband had on his face when she sang. Whenever
he spoke of her his face just had a glow and it was beautiful to see. Im sure they have fights like all couples but it is clear that they not only love each other but really like each other as well.
Romance, courtship, YES!!
ALWAYS BE ON THE LOOK-OUT FOR WONDER - E.B.WHITE
SPREAD THE LOVE
My sista Puleng (also a godess,of course) gave me an article to read:
IF YOU'RE OVER FIFTY ,LOTS OF SEX WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY
It had a stunning picture of Jane Fonda (uber godess) and it waxed lyrical about the benefits of said lots of sex to guarentee our overfities' happiness.
It took me a while to get my head aroud the concept of being in this age bracket and then I felt a slow dread creep up from my feet. OK, so what do you do if you're not Jane Fonda? And what exactly are our options here? And why is there no mention of romance in this scenario?
If sex could be like having a workout in the gym and you can shower and walk on <it would all be fine of course, but are women actually capable of having this emotionally detached coupling with someone and just go to the next? And how much emotional interest must be paid on all these liasons? What if you fall in love with this person?
And where will you find these willing partners? Who, at this age and older is not schlepping baggage around? Could one actually accomodate more people? Horrible teenagers? Furious and bitter X-wives ugh .... Trawling dating sites is not my style and the idea of hunting for partners is just absurd,sorry.
I am the eternal romantic -I truly believe that some people really go off into the sunset together after having found each other through a series of seemingly coincidental events.
There seems to be a notion out there that if a book or a movie ends with a happy ending that its not realistic' It makes me so sad to think that "reality" is seen as people sitting on their own, crying and obsessing about what went wrong and having to join some support group to help them cope with their loss and complexes. (I have nothing against support groups,mind) Im sure it could become quite the social event of the week!
I find myself at a vulnerable age and it becomes rather confusing as so many different factors come into play and of course you have the added pressure of being older and thus hopefully wiser-(NOT)
Your neurotic behaviour plays havoc with your looks and that I can not afford- at this age you don't pull 'haggard'off any more- just hag!!
I watched Celine Dion in concert in Vegas and it was stunning- What I loved most of all was the look of absolute adoration and love that her husband had on his face when she sang. Whenever
he spoke of her his face just had a glow and it was beautiful to see. Im sure they have fights like all couples but it is clear that they not only love each other but really like each other as well.
Romance, courtship, YES!!
ALWAYS BE ON THE LOOK-OUT FOR WONDER - E.B.WHITE
SPREAD THE LOVE
Saturday, 31 December 2011
Give me one moment in time (Thankyou Whitney)
Yes indeed !! No-one can gooi that song quite like Whitney Houston- and what better time than now to contemplate all the moments we had (or missed) in 2011 aah!! As I sit and ponder this issue of "the moment", Im thankful for the blessing of good coffee- I strongly feel that bad coffee is utterly vile -its like having really bad sex- you know what's supposed to happen, it feels vaguely familiar but it aint getting there honey!! No, the stoep will have good coffee and ambience.
Could 'Sex on the stoep' be the name of a new cocktail?
-What music is playing? It has to be sounds that you love and want to hear, no matter what everyone else might feel about it- permission is not needed and approval is optional.
So, today it's Whitney belting it out, because Im in that kind of mood! (And I will always love you...)Im thankful to my core for the stunning moments I experienced during this year- did I miss some?
Ive come to realise how important it is to work the moment and stay with it.
And yes, I had a perfect moment ........
How difficult is it to stay in the moment, fighting off the dread inside that tells you that if its too good to be true,it probably is to good to be true......
A single perfect moment might have to last you a life time- I hold on to it and give it a prominent position in my heart and mind.( The stoep helps you to focus on the turmoil inside your heart and you will start sifting through the mental roller desk of memories that are lurking around everywhere)
I feel its time to shred a few ugly ones......
Whitney sings: The ride with you was worth the fall... Better make sure the ride is worthwhile ne!!
So, the old man and his old wife are sitting on the stoep- the old man asks:"Whatever happened to our sexual relations?
The old woman answers:"I don't know- I don't think we even got a christmas card from them!
To all those, like me, who didn't get a card - condolences .......
May we all have the strenth to meet all the challenges and curve balls that will inevitably come-
Lekke New year + spread the love
Could 'Sex on the stoep' be the name of a new cocktail?
-What music is playing? It has to be sounds that you love and want to hear, no matter what everyone else might feel about it- permission is not needed and approval is optional.
So, today it's Whitney belting it out, because Im in that kind of mood! (And I will always love you...)Im thankful to my core for the stunning moments I experienced during this year- did I miss some?
Ive come to realise how important it is to work the moment and stay with it.
And yes, I had a perfect moment ........
How difficult is it to stay in the moment, fighting off the dread inside that tells you that if its too good to be true,it probably is to good to be true......
A single perfect moment might have to last you a life time- I hold on to it and give it a prominent position in my heart and mind.( The stoep helps you to focus on the turmoil inside your heart and you will start sifting through the mental roller desk of memories that are lurking around everywhere)
I feel its time to shred a few ugly ones......
Whitney sings: The ride with you was worth the fall... Better make sure the ride is worthwhile ne!!
So, the old man and his old wife are sitting on the stoep- the old man asks:"Whatever happened to our sexual relations?
The old woman answers:"I don't know- I don't think we even got a christmas card from them!
To all those, like me, who didn't get a card - condolences .......
May we all have the strenth to meet all the challenges and curve balls that will inevitably come-
Lekke New year + spread the love
Thursday, 29 December 2011
So, lets get it on! (loove Marvin Gaye)
A stoep- a porch-a verandah-a stoop- whatever you want to call it, it is a safe place to contemplate and ponder this soapie called Life. A good stoep becomes like an old familiar friend- it has some herbs growing somewhere and beautiful and sentimental things that you want to see every day. You will make it comfortable for yourself as this is the one little corner on this mad planet that you can use as a soundboard-a haven if you will- the one place where the chair is to your specifications and where you can see people before they see you. Yes, I don't allow just anyone on my stoep no, as in this space I need peace and flow- you mess with it and you're gone! (We do know that some people just don't hear the black notes on the piano)I feel these emotional mutants must join a support group somewhere-just not on my stoep.
My stoep has heard many sobs from distraught teenagers and many stories of woe and we try and sort it out- and praise God, sometimes we succeed. I love it !! And sometimes the stoep is just quiet so that I can listen. In Africa we say that it takes a village to raise a child and this is indeed so, I came to the realisation a couple of months ago, that the village has never left me and that they were all talking at the same time in my addled head. The noise was deafening and I could hardly function properly. In Afrikaans we say;"My kop raas"' Your head is making a noise literally. I also realised that somewhere in this mad scramble to survive and be super mom and super teacher and washing and school and angst and menopause and getting older and and and...... TOOOOOO MUCH!!! So I followed in the beautiful Angela Basset's example. She went to Jamaica and I went to Ghana. Did I find my Tye Tieggs.............??
All I am prepared to say is that I got my groove back oh yes....( Please read 'The Music Lesson' by Victor Wootten) Suffice to say that I will not lose the groove to catch a note.
I stayed at 'Kokrobite Beach' at 'BigMillys backyard' and it was the best present I've ever given myself. I will post some pics soon but I seem to have misplaced a vital cd and and....... Yes I am not very good at computers at all but this situation is being remedied. Pics will be posted- thank the Lord for friends that love you because you're so dof sometimes!
This is of course also the time of year that we all want to sink into a bit of gloom as we contemplate the year behind us and shall we do the New Year's resolution thing again?? I decided that Im doing it differently this year. The truly astonishing aspect of this year is that I actually survived it at all and that Im still reasonably sane ( at least to people that don't know me)
I am counting all the blessings and I REFUSE TO BE SUCKED INTO THE QUICKSAND OF ANY INSULT- Maya Angelou says;'I may be changed by things that happen to me but I refuse to be reduced by it'. So I suffered some mental anguish and all sorts of neuroses (like the best of us) but here I am- groove intact and on my best Godess behaviour. Yes Maya-'Still I rise'
I am thankful that the menopause in all its horror has been and gone- Lets just be clear, menopause is weird ok? And there is no such thing as a 'hot flush' no, its just 'put your head in the oven till you're so hot that you want to rip off your skin' (I tried to do just that in a supermarket in the middle of our desert-freezing winter ugh)
The menopause left me a stunning present though, for the first time in my life I actually have a cleavage uhu! went up from a 34B to a healthy 36D- quite amazing and a blessing!
I am going to keep on counting the blessings and spreading the love as that is all that makes sense to me- It's as easy and difficult as that.
Could we possibly just try and spread some love? And I don't mean the random, emotionally detached sex that passes as love but the real thing-the I love you for what and who you are and I forgive and release the albatross around my neck yes?
Spread the love and love your physical stoep as we have to move onto the mental side of stoep sitting......
My stoep has heard many sobs from distraught teenagers and many stories of woe and we try and sort it out- and praise God, sometimes we succeed. I love it !! And sometimes the stoep is just quiet so that I can listen. In Africa we say that it takes a village to raise a child and this is indeed so, I came to the realisation a couple of months ago, that the village has never left me and that they were all talking at the same time in my addled head. The noise was deafening and I could hardly function properly. In Afrikaans we say;"My kop raas"' Your head is making a noise literally. I also realised that somewhere in this mad scramble to survive and be super mom and super teacher and washing and school and angst and menopause and getting older and and and...... TOOOOOO MUCH!!! So I followed in the beautiful Angela Basset's example. She went to Jamaica and I went to Ghana. Did I find my Tye Tieggs.............??
All I am prepared to say is that I got my groove back oh yes....( Please read 'The Music Lesson' by Victor Wootten) Suffice to say that I will not lose the groove to catch a note.
I stayed at 'Kokrobite Beach' at 'BigMillys backyard' and it was the best present I've ever given myself. I will post some pics soon but I seem to have misplaced a vital cd and and....... Yes I am not very good at computers at all but this situation is being remedied. Pics will be posted- thank the Lord for friends that love you because you're so dof sometimes!
This is of course also the time of year that we all want to sink into a bit of gloom as we contemplate the year behind us and shall we do the New Year's resolution thing again?? I decided that Im doing it differently this year. The truly astonishing aspect of this year is that I actually survived it at all and that Im still reasonably sane ( at least to people that don't know me)
I am counting all the blessings and I REFUSE TO BE SUCKED INTO THE QUICKSAND OF ANY INSULT- Maya Angelou says;'I may be changed by things that happen to me but I refuse to be reduced by it'. So I suffered some mental anguish and all sorts of neuroses (like the best of us) but here I am- groove intact and on my best Godess behaviour. Yes Maya-'Still I rise'
I am thankful that the menopause in all its horror has been and gone- Lets just be clear, menopause is weird ok? And there is no such thing as a 'hot flush' no, its just 'put your head in the oven till you're so hot that you want to rip off your skin' (I tried to do just that in a supermarket in the middle of our desert-freezing winter ugh)
The menopause left me a stunning present though, for the first time in my life I actually have a cleavage uhu! went up from a 34B to a healthy 36D- quite amazing and a blessing!
I am going to keep on counting the blessings and spreading the love as that is all that makes sense to me- It's as easy and difficult as that.
Could we possibly just try and spread some love? And I don't mean the random, emotionally detached sex that passes as love but the real thing-the I love you for what and who you are and I forgive and release the albatross around my neck yes?
Spread the love and love your physical stoep as we have to move onto the mental side of stoep sitting......
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